The Drama triangle of Project failures

Your project has perfect methodology. Comprehensive planning. Clear deliverables. Adequate resources. Yet somehow, it's drowning in drama. Team members complain about being overwhelmed. Managers swoop in to save the day at the last minute. Someone is always blamed when things go wrong. Nothing feels sustainable.

The problem isn't your project management approach. It's the Drama Triangle, a dysfunctional pattern of interpersonal dynamics that sabotages projects from within. Until you recognize and break this cycle, no amount of better planning, tools, or processes will save you.

Understanding the Drama Triangle

Psychologist Stephen Karpman identified the Drama Triangle in 1968 as a model of dysfunctional social interactions. Three roles, Victim, Rescuer (Hero), and Villain, create a self-reinforcing cycle of dysfunction. In project management contexts, these roles manifest in patterns that feel familiar to anyone who's worked in toxic organizational cultures.

The Triangle Structure:

Each role feeds the others. Victims need Rescuers. Rescuers need Victims to save. Villains create Victims. The triangle perpetuates itself through everyone playing their part.

The Three Toxic Roles in Project Management

The Hero/Rescuer: "I'll Save This Project"

How They Show Up: The Hero project manager works weekends to recover from poor planning. They take on tasks team members should handle because "it's faster if I just do it." They pride themselves on pulling off miracles - delivering impossible projects through personal sacrifice. Organizations celebrate and promote them.

What They Actually Do: Heroes enable dysfunction by making bad practices sustainable. When they rescue projects from unrealistic deadlines, leadership learns that impossible timelines are actually possible, they just need heroes. When they absorb scope creep without pushing back, stakeholders learn that changes are free.

Heroes prevent organizational learning. Problems that should force better planning get masked by heroic effort. Teams never develop capability because heroes do the work for them. The Hero's "success" today creates the crisis requiring heroics tomorrow.

The Cost: Heroes burn out. Their teams become dependent and underdeveloped. Organizations fail to improve processes because heroes keep compensating for broken systems. Eventually, the hero leaves (via burnout, health issues, or better opportunities), and the projects they were holding together collapse.

The Victim: "This Isn't My Fault"

How They Show Up: The Victim project manager never has agency. Projects fail because of stakeholder interference, inadequate resources, team incompetence, or organizational dysfunction, never their decisions. They document everything to prove they're not responsible. They're helpless against circumstances beyond their control.

What They Actually Do: Victims avoid accountability by externalizing all problems. Yes, organizations create constraints. Yes, stakeholders can be unreasonable. Yes, resources are often inadequate. But Victims refuse to exercise whatever agency they do have.

They don't push back on unrealistic timelines because "leadership won't listen." They don't escalate problems because "it won't help." They don't have difficult conversations with team members because "HR won't support me." Every potential action is dismissed as futile before trying.

The Cost: Victims train organizations to expect failure. Projects consistently underperform, but nobody's responsible because circumstances were impossible. Teams lose respect for PMs who won't advocate for them. Stakeholders become frustrated with PMs who won't make decisions or take stands.

The Villain: "Someone Must Be Blamed"

How They Show Up: The Villain project manager leads through criticism, blame, and punishment. When projects struggle, they hunt for who's responsible. Team members who make mistakes are publicly criticized. Vendors who miss commitments face aggressive confrontation. The Villain's approach: if people are afraid enough, they'll perform better.

What They Actually Do: Villains create fear-based cultures where people hide problems, avoid risks, and cover themselves. Teams spend energy on blame-avoidance rather than problem-solving. Documentation exists to prove "not my fault" rather than improve future work.

When Villains run retrospectives, they're witch hunts determining who screwed up, not learning sessions examining what went wrong systemically. Innovation dies because trying something new means risking blame if it fails. Psychological safety, essential for high-performing teams, is destroyed.

The Cost: Villains get compliance, not commitment. Teams do exactly what's asked, nothing more, because initiative risks blame if it doesn't work perfectly. People leave; either physically (finding new jobs) or mentally (quiet quitting). Information flows stop because sharing bad news invites attack.

How the Triangle Perpetuates Itself

The Drama Triangle is self-reinforcing:

Heroes create Victims: By rescuing people from natural consequences of poor planning or performance, Heroes prevent learning and capability development. Team members become dependent, feeling incapable of succeeding without rescue—becoming Victims.

Victims attract Heroes: When someone positions themselves as powerless, Heroes rush in to save them. The Victim's helplessness validates the Hero's identity as savior.

Villains create Victims: Blame culture makes people feel powerless and attacked. Fear prevents agency. People become Victims to the Villain's persecution.

Heroes become Villains: When Heroes burn out from constant rescuing, they often flip to

blaming the Victims they've been enabling: "After everything I've done for you, you still can't handle this?"

Villains justify Heroes: When Villains create crisis through blame and fear, Heroes are needed to clean up the toxic culture's consequences.

Victims enable Villains: By refusing accountability, Victims invite someone to enforce it harshly, creating space for Villains to emerge.

The triangle rotates. People shift roles. But the dysfunction persists.

Breaking the Triangle: The Empowerment Dynamic

David Emerald developed "The Empowerment Dynamic" as the antidote to the Drama Triangle. Instead of toxic roles, it offers empowering alternatives:

From Rescuer to Coach: "I'll Help You Solve This"

The Shift: Coaches don't do the work for people; they develop capability. When team members struggle, Coaches ask questions that build problem-solving skills rather than providing solutions. They create learning experiences instead of preventing failure.

In Practice: When a team member says "I don't know how to handle this vendor issue," the Coach doesn't take over. They ask: "What options have you considered? What's worked in similar situations? What information do you need? How can I support you while you handle this?"

The Coach knows the team member might make mistakes. That's okay. Mistakes within reasonable risk bounds are learning opportunities. The goal isn't perfect immediate solutions. It's developing team members who can solve problems independently.

The Mindset: "My job isn't to save you. It's to help you develop the capability to save yourself."

From Victim to Creator: "What Can I Create Here?"

The Shift: Creators acknowledge constraints while focusing on agency. Yes, resources are limited. Yes, stakeholders are difficult. Yes, organizational dysfunction exists. Given those realities, what outcomes can I create?

Creators don't ignore problems, they focus on what's within their control. They can't change organizational culture, but they can create psychological safety within their team. They can't force stakeholders to be reasonable, but they can set boundaries and manage expectations. They can't secure unlimited resources, but they can prioritize ruthlessly within constraints.

In Practice: When faced with an unrealistic timeline, the Creator doesn't just complain. They analyze what's achievable within the timeline, identify what would need to change for success (more resources, reduced scope, extended timeline), and present options with trade-offs clearly articulated.

They take ownership of their sphere of influence while being honest about limitations. "I can't guarantee success with these constraints, but here's what I can commit to delivering, and here are the risks you need to accept."

The Mindset: "I may not control everything, but I control something. What will I create with what I have?"

From Villain to Challenger: "Let's Address What's Not Working"

The Shift: Challengers hold people accountable without blame. They address problems directly, focus on behavior and outcomes rather than character, and assume good intent while demanding better performance.

Challengers create clarity about expectations and consequences. They give direct feedback about what's not working. But they do it without attacking people's worth, questioning their competence, or making it personal.

In Practice: Instead of "You screwed this up again. What's wrong with you?" the Challenger says: "This deliverable doesn't meet our quality standards. Specifically, issues X, Y, Z need addressing. Let's discuss what's preventing you from meeting standards and how I can support success going forward."

Challengers make performance issues discussable without making them character judgments. They challenge people to grow without making them feel attacked.

The Mindset: "I expect your best work, and I'll tell you directly when it's not there, because I believe you're capable of more."

Transforming Your Project Culture

Step 1: Recognize Your Default Role

Which role do you naturally play? Most of us have a default pattern:

• Do you pride yourself on saving projects? (Hero/Rescuer)

• Do you feel powerless against organizational dysfunction? (Victim)

• Do you lead through criticism and blame? (Villain)

Honest self-assessment is prerequisite for change.

Step 2: Interrupt the Pattern

When you notice yourself falling into your default role:

• Heroes: Instead of taking over, ask "How can I help you solve this?"

• Victims: Instead of explaining why it's impossible, ask "What's within my control here?"

• Villains: Instead of blaming, describe the problem behaviorally and invite problem-solving

Step 3: Practice the Alternative

Deliberately practice your empowerment role:

• Coaches develop others through questions and support, not solutions

• Creators focus on agency within constraints

• Challengers give direct feedback without attack

It feels awkward initially. That's normal when changing established patterns.

Step 4: Change Team Dynamics

Model the empowerment roles for your team:

• Stop rescuing people from natural consequences

• Stop accepting victim narratives that abdicate responsibility

• Stop tolerating blame culture that prevents learning

When team members play drama roles, gently redirect to empowerment alternatives.

Step 5: Address Organizational Culture

Individual change helps, but organizational culture often reinforces drama dynamics:

• Does your organization promote Heroes who work unsustainable hours?

• Does it accept Victim explanations that externalize all accountability?

• Does leadership act as Villains during project reviews?

You may not change organizational culture alone, but you can create different culture within your sphere of influence.

The Drama Triangle explains why projects fail despite good planning and capable people. Dysfunctional interpersonal dynamics; Heroes enabling dysfunction, Victims avoiding responsibility, Villains creating fear, sabotage execution regardless of methodology.

Breaking the triangle requires conscious role shifts: from Rescuer to Coach, Victim to Creator, Persecutor to Challenger. These aren't just semantics, they're fundamentally different ways of approaching problems, accountability, and relationships.

Your projects will remain trapped in drama until you and your team break these patterns. The good news? You have the agency to start now, with your own behavior, regardless of organizational culture.

Stop playing the drama. Start creating empowerment.

Sources:

Karpman, Stephen (1968). "Fairy Tales and Script Drama Analysis" - Original Drama Triangle research https://www.karpmandramatriangle.com/